A Mother Far from Home

on becoming supermom

Things that Make a Mother Pray More

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I don’t think I’ve ever prayed more in my entire life than in the {almost} two years I’ve been a mother. All of a sudden there are little things that are totally dependent on me and I realised that it is not in my power to control everything. Therefore, we have a gap. A gap between our ability to keep them perfectly safe, unharmed and emotionally happy and them actually being perfectly safe, unharmed and emotionally happy. Just because we pray doesn’t necessarily mean they will live to an old age unscathed, but trusting that God has a plan and He loves them more than I do helps me sleep better at night. It helps reorient my thinking. God created them. He has a purpose for them. And He wants them to fulfil it.

Things that Make a Mother (or at least this mother) Pray More.

1) Tragedies. This week a mentally unstable 20-year-old killed 20 elementary school children along with teachers and the principle of a school in Connecticut. To not be personally connected to this tragedy, I believe this hit me harder than any other event for as long as I can remember. Every time I read or think about it I still cry. And pray. And beg God to protect my children. And thank God for them even if they are having ridiculously fussy day and screaming all over the place. Because them screaming is better than there being no more opportunity for them to scream. I pray and beg and ask God to protect my children for their entire lives and I pray that their lives (and the lives of my future grandchildren) last longer than mine. But I know that I am no more righteous than these parents who have lost a child. I know that God doesn’t love me more than He loves them. The rain falls on both the righteous and unrighteous (Matthew 5:45). Tragedy does not target the guilty, but comes to those hood and evil alike (Luke 13:1-5). But it doesn’t matter. I will carry on praying and begging God to protect them. It is all a mother can do. 

2) Sickness and disease. I think that disease, sickness and debilitation are straight from the pit of hell (John 10:10). SIDS is the most horrible thing I can imagine. A thief coming in the night to steal a life. It cannot be avoided, makes many a mother paranoid, and cannot be completely put out of my mind until they’re at least a year old. I pray that God protects them, keeps them breathing. I go check on them periodically through the night. When I roll over and want to go check on them, again, for the 12th time, I pray my favorite prayer “Oh God, help me.” Help me not to be paranoid. Help me to trust You. Help keep my babies safe and alive and send angels to stand guard around their cribs. If you are still reading you are either in my same boat or astonished someone could be so paranoid. Trust me, before I was a mother, I would have been too. Mothers who must watch their children go through painful operations, accidents or illnesses need a special grace and mercy from God. I echo my second favorite prayer, “Oh God, help them.”

3) Love. Tonight I was holding my 7 month old and kissing his ribs and little legs because it makes him giggle. After a minute or two I felt my heart swell with so much joy and I looked at him smiling. Then I felt this sad pang inside. And I realized that I love him so much that the thought of something happening to him actually hurts. I love them so much, and tell them I love them multiple times throughout the day, that I am led to pray for them. I actually say at least 3 or 4 times a week “this is one of the best moments of my life.” Wow. I’m a sap. I love it. My love for them and my hope for their future lead me to pray that God will help show me their strengths and weaknesses so we can teach and train them to be strong in character and mighty in service for others. I pray God would always help me stay one step ahead of them so I’m able to do my very best. It won’t be perfect and I’ll mess up a lot and have to apologize frequently. They’ll ask me how I could possibly have thought I knew enough to write about parenting. I’ll agree with them and echo my fave refrain, “Oh God, help me.”

4) Realization that I have no idea what I’m doing and need all the help I can get. Nothing makes you feel more insecure and out of control than having children. Now, hear me out, I don’t mean my house or our lives are out of control. In fact, quite the opposite. I mean, even with an orderly house, orderly schedule, and children who are well-behaved and sweet most of the time, I feel out of control because I can’t control for every variable. There will be dogs, bullies, scrapes and traffic. I will not be able to be there all the time. I need God to step in and pull some shifts while I’m out doing other things. I pray because I can’t waste my life worrying, but can’t take for granted the world we live in. Not everyone is nice and trusting. Not everyone is helpful and kind. But, again, I can’t raise my children to be fearful hermits. I must raise them to be courageous, helpful and loving in the face of others who are not. But, to do this, I need supernatural assistance. Enter my third favorite prayer. “I’m serious, God. Please help me.”

Having children made me grow up, mature, and look outside myself. I have to do things that I don’t feel like doing. I have to love even when I’m angry. I must meet others’ needs before my own. It is a privilege and a joy. And I need help. I need wisdom. I need guidance. That’s why I write. I hope to answer a question someone is asking. I thank everyone out there who has answered questions I was asking. And listen up here, I ask alotta questions. We need God’s help and we need each other. I pray that God show mercy, give comfort, and be with the parents who have lost their small children and loved ones of all those affected by the Sandy Hook tragedy.

A Mother Far from Home

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Author: A Mother Far from Home

Around here we look at practical child-rearing and child-bearing issues. Look around and find down-to-earth parenting talk, tips, reviews, and some interesting lessons I've learned while navigating the waters of motherhood.

2 thoughts on “Things that Make a Mother Pray More

  1. My mother always said that a sign of a great mother is one who can recognise all she can do and do it, and realise there are things out of her control that she must pray for.
    Sounds like you are one of them too. xx

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