Most people probably don’t have to go at it alone. Good for those people, be grateful.
Others, single moms, those without close family or friends or those who are geographically distant (me) from family know how hard it is to raise children day in day out. With no one around you feel free to bother night and day like, say, your own mom, you carry the weight of it all on your own shoulders.
It’s not a complaint. It’s a fact. Times when I wish I lived closer to home:
- When I want to go out in the evening without having to pay for a babysitter. Or even find a sitter for that matter.
- When a child, two children, me, my husband or any combination of the above are sick.
- When the house is a total disaster and I need an hour uninterrupted to sort it out.
- When I see grandparents with their grandkids having a great time and I feel as though I’m depriving my extended family and my children of that close relationship.
- On public holidays when other people are with family and we don’t have ours to cook for.
What you can do to get through.
- Recognize you can’t do everything on your own. It isn’t healthy for you and therefore not healthy for your children who have to live with you.
- Make time with friends. Even if you drag the kids along, which I do, at least you get to talk about adult things. Or at least talk to other adults about kid things.
- Find ways to keep your sanity and trick yourself. I’ll explain. My nails are dirt magnets. I hate seeing them look ugly but don’t have time/energy to do them all the time so I get manicures. They always look good and it makes me feel like a woman, not just a mom. It is the little things that help with sanity.
- Join a church, group, association with people of common values who will be there to help. After my son was born the ladies in my church made enough food for us for 1 month. Wow!
- Be grateful (this one is to me) that we are so blessed to have kids. I often think of couples I know who have yet to conceive after years and I count my many blessings.
I may have no one to call in the middle of the night, but I can pray, and that makes me stronger.
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